Mama | Entrepreneur | Author | Women's Digital Health Director
One day, she asked to plant some flowers of her own. Let’s just say that a “green thumb” is one of my more “underdeveloped” skills and I have sent a number of flowers, shrubs and bushes to their final resting place. Nonetheless, the original Tiny Clarke had made her request to plant flowers known, so my google search began.
I was able to find lots of great information! I stumbled across one basic tenet that seemed to be pretty consistent across all of the sites. Some variation of the following:
“Proper soil preparation will control weed growth so that your new plants aren’t competing with hardy weeds for nutrients and water resources.”
I was supposed to be preparing to impress my 3-year-old with my gardening abilities but I was distracted by the underlying message. Everything I began to read about preparing the soil, in my mind, translated to actively facilitating the environment in which the plants were expected to grow. This made me think about the parallel between the plant/flower soil that I wanted to prepare and my own life soil.
This year, I have set my intention around congruency and living a life that honors my authenticity. Too often, we can find ourselves in a position wherein our internal environment is in conflict with our external environment. The decisions we are making about how we move in the world and who and what we make space for contradict with who we are and what makes us feel like the most peaceful and powerful versions of ourselves.
How does that happen? This may seem like a no-brainer for many, but self-sacrifice and people-pleasing are a part of my performer-caregiver nature that I have had to work hard to overcome. Recently, my long-time best friend, Cierra West, who is also a Licensed Clinical Therapist (@zenaurahealing and @spirwitchal.psychotherapist), mentioned a concept that really captured the journey of congruency and self-grace that I am on. She said, “If it is not a full-body yes, it is a no”. WOW!
It was a concept that was so simple and yet so powerful. In many ways, it felt like permission to abandon the need for explanation or buy-in about decisions that I make for my own peace and well-being. I needed no further explanation outside of the simple acknowledgment that my answer is “no” unless “yes” would result in alignment between my internal and external environment.
I share my vulnerability and difficult truths with you all because I believe that there is power and healing in understanding that you are not alone. Isn’t it funny how showing up for your little people has a strange way of challenging you to show up differently for yourself as well? What steps are you actively taking to facilitate your environment?
Lord, thank you for the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We know that these are the Fruits of the Spirit that you have already planted in the soil of every woman reading this post. May she seek you as she begins or continues to prepare her soil optimally the reap your abundance. May she understand that she has both the POWER and the PERMISSION to facilitate her internal and external environment.
Until Next Time,
Self-Grace, Power and Gratitude
